I am surrounded by my dearest friends, and yet I feel so isolated, so alone. I'm afraid I may be a burden to them... they worry about my safety. Galaxia's forces are closing in, even I can see that clearly, but I can't focus, I can't concentrate. All I can think about is you. Minako, Rei, all of them are doing their best to protect me, in your absence, but it's just not the same without you, my dear Mamo-chan. (For one thing, if they try to follow me into choir again, I think the teacher may give us all detention.)
Mamo-chan, my Mamo-chan... I wish I would hear from you. I want to know what you're doing, how you are feeling. Anything to distract me from myself, my life, my problems.
I am trying to put up with them — their efforts to protect me, I mean — but I can only half-heartedly pretend to be grateful. It's probably very bad of me to not feel more thankful, but I can't help it, they just can't replace you! Sometimes I want to be selfish. Sometimes I want to think only of myself, if only to steal a few precious, peaceful moments to think of you, and where you are at that moment.
Today was awful, because while we were walking together, while they were scolding me for not caring about my safety more (I wasn't really paying attention ^^; ), they mentioned you, called you by name. It was as if my heart had been pierced by ice. I wasn't prepared, I wasn't expecting it.... I felt as if I had stumbled, but couldn't fall, even though my heart was collapsing before my eyes. Mamoru. Mamoru. It rings in my ears, Mamo-chan. I whisper it to myself, at night, when even Luna is asleep. Perhaps if I say it enough times... no, I mustn't think of that.
This day has been cruel, and even I can't find anything that would redeem it. I love you so desperately, my Mamo-chan. I will see you shortly... my dreams are all I have now, until you return. Oh, to be in your arms right now..!
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